She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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