Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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