Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
