Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
