Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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