This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize