VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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