I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
