If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
MIDGETS
????
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
