and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
