my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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