Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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