We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
