At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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