so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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