I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
