okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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