i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
