Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize