Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
