I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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