also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
