Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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