sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
