I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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