i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
