Taylor Swift is so right about you.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
