You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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