oh god the rape fog is back!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it's like iHOP with fire
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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