we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
