I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
