Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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