NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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