when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
