Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
