yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
