Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
