So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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