oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
