Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
