I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
