Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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