is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
