First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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