let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
