somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
