Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
