another moral hangover. fuck.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
