So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
