shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
