I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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