I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
