I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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