Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize