Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
