yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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