we're blogging at a bar
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
