I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize