I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
soo... how was my night?
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