Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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