Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
