So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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