...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
