im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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