wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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