He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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