The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
