i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
