its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
