His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
